Unfortunately, I cannot just quit. That isn't how this job works. 

The name Dread Pirate Roberts has been passed down at least 4 times now, with myself being the 4th. All of that is according to Wesley.  I have no reason not to trust him.

That means I must find a successor before I am allowed to retire with a portion of my treasure. That has been... a difficult task, to say the least. 

What makes a good Dread Pirate Roberts? Certainly not the existential crisis I have been experiencing as of late. I suppose it would be someone who could live up to the name, though the name has grown so big no mortal man can really fill it anymore. They need to be experienced with the blade, that much is certain. 

I feel a good Dread Pirate Roberts would need to have sea-foam hair and salt-spray words. Their voice should rise above the waves to brush the Crows Nest. They should enjoy the life of plunder and always be searching for a way to bring new life into the trade. Creative and quick on their feet. A pirate at heart.

And they need to love limes. Oh how I've grown to detest the taste of limes.